Discussions about artificial intelligence are often dominated by the notion that AI is some kind of central brain for humanity. In reality, it is simply a type of computer program. Anyone can create their own—or more precisely, train their own artificial intelligence. Those with more money and resources can afford more powerful tools. Some AI systems are remarkable, others are idiotic, and still others are dangerous. In that sense, it is no different from any other technology.
Among the genuinely new developments are AI relationship coaches. A young man wants to win over a girl and consults an artificial intelligence for advice. A girl asks an AI how to interpret the signs that a boy is serious about her. A husband drank too much the night before, is thinking about how to smooth things over, and has a few ideas. But just to be safe, he consults the AI he has been speaking with for months. It already knows a great deal about his wife and can probably predict her reactions more accurately than he can himself.
This is not some distant utopian fantasy. The first tools of this kind already exist, and it is only a matter of years before they become entirely commonplace. Unlike social media—or the AI systems designed to replace romantic partners—these could genuinely be helpful. They will almost certainly work far better than human relationship therapists, sex coaches, and similar professionals.
It may even lead to the extinction of incels—young men who endlessly reassure one another that they are so hopelessly unattractive no woman could ever want them under any circumstances, and that there is therefore no point even trying to improve themselves, perhaps by doing something as basic as washing regularly. The same applies to femcels, their female counterparts. I have little doubt that many incels will eventually give in, secretly consult an AI relationship coach, and succeed on the third attempt.
Naturally, this will create its own set of problems. Wealthier people will have better coaches and receive more sophisticated advice. Free versions will manipulate users into buying expensive nonsense for their beloved, conveniently produced by the AI company’s sponsors. One can easily imagine politically correct coaches discouraging girls from dating white men while urging them toward sex with Arab migrants. Or perhaps the real problems will be things we cannot yet imagine. It will create complications, but in the end society will work through them.
As for the moralistic nonsense about how everyone ought to figure these things out on their own, that may sound convincing coming from a sixty-year-old man with life experience and some background in psychology. But placing such demands on an eighteen-year-old apprentice is plain hypocrisy.
The opposite of all this is the AI companion: an artificial intelligence that simulates a sexually charged girlfriend for men and a perfectly empathetic conversational partner for women. The internet is already full of such tools, and the first studies suggest that the more you use an artificial companion, the worse you become at interacting with ordinary people. They are so imperfect, after all.